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The Unmentionables

As I have previously mentioned, I have a bevy of furniture that is in need of some love. I suppose I shouldn’t even call it a bevy because that implies that it is in some sort of organized cluster, when in reality it is scattered throughout my house, taking up square footage and (unfortunately) multiplying in copious amounts.

Well, the one tried and true method to get myself into gear and focus my head on a solution is to air my dirty laundry. So without further ado, let me introduce you to a portion of  “My Unmentionables.”

Wooden Luggage Rack

Tea Cart

This wasn’t a good one to start with because I am at a loss for what to do here. Half of me wants to update it and keep it as a luggage rack, but another (more creative) part of me wants to turn it into a quilt rack or even a side table. As you will see though, I have plenty of tables.



This Tea Cart isn’t much of a cart as it has no wheels. So it’s more like a tea stand…which is lame. Casters are the obvious first step, but all the other hardware is still totally functional so the only thing left is some jazzy paint.

Glass Top Table




This traditional table just needs a good sanding and coat of paint. This table is a perfect example of why I always choose to rehab old school furniture; no matter how old it is, it will stand up to anything…except fire.

Rocking Chair




As far as the rocking chair goes, I was super hesitant to take it. All it NEEDS is to have the rockers sanded because of an apparent dog-gnawing incident. Aside from that it’s in good shape, which sucks because that means I actually have to manifest an idea to give it character. If it needed new spindles or arms then I could spice it up, but since nothing needs replacing I just have to think…and we all know I am not a fan of that.

Handyman's Bed


I freakin’ love this little thing! It’s a bed the size of a bench from the early 1900’s. I plan to keep the wood natural, just sanding and staining the crap out of it. I need to tear into the mattress (it’s a real mattress with springs and everything) and replace it with foam rubber covered in some playful fabric. This is my FAVORITE PIECE.

Couch Table


I feel so dull because it seems like all I want to do is sand and paint. But again…I plan to sand and paint. Usually once I get going a new idea pops into my head and I add something unique, but at this point I am thinking of a shale (green) with (perhaps) a little distressing. In my opinion it’s hard to distress and keep a piece looking fresh so the jury is still out on that detail.

Fern Stand


Good News: I have already started to work on my Fern Stand.

Bad News: I started right after I received my new sander and had not yet bothered to read the instructions.

At this point, this little guy has been whittled down to raw wood and he’s begging for mercy. Now that I know which sander attachment to use to avoid further destruction his odds are looking good. Since the wood is showing I intend to spray paint it lavender and apply polyurethane like it’s my new favorite thing…because it is.


I’ve already went wandering to a couple of my favorite discount rehab stores; Home Improvement Salvage and Habitat for Humanity Restore to find some of the odds and ends necessary to update and classify (classify meaning “to make it classy,” not “to categorize”.)

They have handles!

They have knobs!

They have adorable yet totally irrelevant items that are sure to turn me into a babbling hoarder in no time!

Now that you know my plans and my procrastination habits, I feel obligated to gather my supplies (and senses), drink some Red Bull (and vodka),  and dive into My Unmentionables.


About Kristen Van Loon

My name is Kristen Van Loon and this is the chronicle of my search for *Oomf!* Not only have I deemed myself qualified to revamp, repair, refurnish and refine my house, but I also jump into any DIY project that my friends, co-workers, family and practical strangers stumble upon. I would love to tell you that this is my full-time job and my complete life mission, but I make my bread and butter elsewhere and raise a daughter (Olivia). I have some experience but no time, no formal training and no money. My only saving grace is that I love figuring things out, I’m great at improvising and I’m always inspired. For the record, some things that I do (play with electricity, for one) may seem risky, and some of them are. I will always tell you what I’ve done, but I won’t ever suggest things for you that aren’t safe. Even though I push the envelope, I am only marginally incompetent. If sources (father, my brain, Google) tell me not to do something then I usually won’t. But if I do try and it blows up in my face (figuratively or literally) you will hear all about it, and you hopefully won’t attempt it. At the end of the day, I hope to inspire you. Space-Lift isn’t just a blog, it’s a verb. It’s an action that brightens your surroundings by assaulting everything that needs improvement. Nothing is off limits, and all possibilities will be considered.

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