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Feeling Pretty Grout-chy

It seems as though whenever I’m slightly at a loss for what project to post SOMETHING in my house decides to mock my moment of calm by giving me hours of unrest. Just when I start to feel at ease in a specific room and get lulled into a feeling of reassurance that it will not betray me, it betrays me. 90% of the issues stem from the sellers and the handymen that they hired. I do not believe a 70-year-old man laid the tile in his own kitchen. Therefore, I also do not believe his wife advised him to use the most permeable grout in the history of man and then skip the sealant.

I recently got a new, apartment size dishwasher and “we’re” (Kyle) still getting use to the amount of soap to use. As a result, there have been about four overflows (I’m not talking catastrophic amounts of water– 5 or 6 ounces at maximum.) Well, on the last episode of “Can’t Load the Dishwasher” which aired tonight, the main character (me) starting bitching to the co-star about how the overflows need to end because the water can seep under the cabinet and rot out the wood if it keeps happening. Not two minutes following that riveting monologue, she steps foot on a tile that starts sloshing around and making a cartoony suction cup noise. The censors were all over this episode so I edited it down to a 30 second narrative.

Please Enjoy.



About Kristen Van Loon

My name is Kristen Van Loon and this is the chronicle of my search for *Oomf!* Not only have I deemed myself qualified to revamp, repair, refurnish and refine my house, but I also jump into any DIY project that my friends, co-workers, family and practical strangers stumble upon. I would love to tell you that this is my full-time job and my complete life mission, but I make my bread and butter elsewhere and raise a daughter (Olivia). I have some experience but no time, no formal training and no money. My only saving grace is that I love figuring things out, I’m great at improvising and I’m always inspired. For the record, some things that I do (play with electricity, for one) may seem risky, and some of them are. I will always tell you what I’ve done, but I won’t ever suggest things for you that aren’t safe. Even though I push the envelope, I am only marginally incompetent. If sources (father, my brain, Google) tell me not to do something then I usually won’t. But if I do try and it blows up in my face (figuratively or literally) you will hear all about it, and you hopefully won’t attempt it. At the end of the day, I hope to inspire you. Space-Lift isn’t just a blog, it’s a verb. It’s an action that brightens your surroundings by assaulting everything that needs improvement. Nothing is off limits, and all possibilities will be considered.

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