One of the pieces my aunt gave me was an adorable French Sofa Table reproduction.
I say it’s a reproduction because I don’t believe it’s an antique. It was originally finished wood, but my aunt painted it black (and I don’t think she’d do that to an antique, but then again she might.)
I removed the bottom tier of the table and primed it white. I wasn’t sure what color to go with so it sat around for a few days. By the time I had enough energy to tackle the labor and second round of brainstormning… well… I actually DIDN’T have enough energy for the brainstorming part. I wasted all my energy on the labor part and painted this little guy yellow. Ugh, I really don’t know what I was thinking. And not just normal yellow, Macaroni yellow–the yellow of your nightmares.
After that minor debacle I decided to chill out on my nonsense and go to the paint isle of my friendly hardware store. Why? BECAUSE A WILD PAINT BENDER ALWAYS SOLVES EVERYTHING!!!! I woke up 3 days later…
Seriously though, I bought about $35 worth of paint, and in spray paint dollars that like $200. So, me and my 40 cans of spray paint sat around staring at each other until I just decided that I needed to be logical. A) I didn’t want anything light because I needed to maintain some weight in the room, so adios pastels. B) I wanted it to shine, so satin finishes were out. C) I love Krylon’s colors but I hate their paint consistency and watered down application with a bloody passion, so I stuck to off-brands to avoid Krylon’s mess-in-a-can and 1980’s chemistry that they are still making products with today. Finally, I arrived at good ol’ Navy Blue Gloss, F yeah!
I then painted the bottom tier pastel purple because a girl has gotta have a little pastel in her life, even if it’s not Easter. Plus, I knew the dark blue would calm it down so it wouldn’t look like a My Little Ponies party on the lower half.
After the paint dried I covered it with Minwax WipeOn Poly Gloss. I have decided that I really can’t apply it with anything but a brush, and since it runs my bristle brushes through the wringer, I just use the cheap black sponge brushes that you can buy 6 for $1. All the rags that I try to apply the poly with always stick too much, and no matter how lint or fuzz free it seems, I always have fuzzies sticking to my piece, which leaves a gnarly mess to try to clean up. So I use my cheap-0 sponge brush and throw it away when I’m done because I am apparently wasteful and lazy, but the E.P.A. isn’t at my door so life is good.
My aunt had supplied me with the two cut glass pieces for the top of the table, but the bottom tier had nothing to fit inside. And instead of running ALL THE WAY to Harmon Glass which is like a million (less than two, actually) miles up the road, I decided to just wing it. Winging it led me to cheap rope. I super love when a cheap idea gets even cheaper!
I decided to weave the second tier instead of putting glass in it, sweet! However, my first attempt was less than fantastic.
The main problem with this is that it looks like an A.D.D. ape on acid did this. Ok Ok, that’s a bit harsh, but I will admit that the first time around I was trying to keep the rope in one piece. And I shouldn’t say “trying” because I did keep the rope in one piece. I was like seriously OCD about just bending it around staples and screws until finally I didn’t have enough rope to do straight lines and I had to zig-zag the bottom just to finish it. Classy.
I just wanted to add a real quick note (commenting on the below photo) whoever decided to package rope and yarn in that figure 8 pattern with the rope/yard belt in the middle is an inconsiderate S.O.B. I have wasted so much of my life untangling new packages of rope/yarn that I probably could have gotten a graduate degree in the collective hours I have spent. …but anyway…
So because I thought my first attempt at a bottom tier net looked like it was done by a blind spider on steroids, I took it apart and did it again. THIS TIME though, this time I took a tip from my screens and weaved cut pieces of rope through each other. The only thing I had to be cognizant of was to make sure that I left a good amount of slack in the long ropes because the more ropes you add to the weave, obviously the tighter it becomes…and it really sneaks up on you as it’s popping out of the staple when you’re only two weaves away from being finished. (That happened on my zig-zag attempt, not my second screen-grid attempt, but it still applies.)
If I’m going to be realistic, I’ll tell you that I know I will have useless stuff like birthday cards and princess books sitting on here. I know Kyle will put his autographed baseballs on here by somehow insisting that the blue on top means “Detroit Tigers.” Yes, it will have dirty plates, cup rings and fingerprints on the glass…